Fortunate Blessings

I really wish that I recorded more of the things that I felt somewhere. I used to write in a journal nearly every day, saying things that would remind me of something good, bad, useless, or very meaningful. And now it almost seems to me that the past 8 months have been a heavy blur. I honestly can't remember from September to about February, and I'm actually relatively happy that I don't. I mean, I could remember the horrible times where I thought that this could be it for me, but why bother?

I'd rather erase you than keep you close to my heart. Ain't that a shame?

I have never realized that before March 12th, no man has ever given me the time that I deserve. No man has treated me like a human being, for that matter. Not even as a friend. We all have our stories, and this is only mine. I feel like such a fool for letting myself be trampled on. My best friend in the universe had always told me that but I mean, I never really thought much of it. And finally, when I find someone who cares for me more than anyone else in this world, it's gonna end. Haha. I do most certainly put myself in the worst positions. But I would rather have had the chance to grow relationships with people rather than being miserable and whiny. Both, which I am.

He actually makes me smile, laugh, and forget about the world. I can't even describe it, it's beyond words. But when you live for rather simple things (like the water on your face when you swim, literally smelling the flowers, or just breathing), you come to terms with yourself, and you realize that maybe the people you meet are truly something. We are fortunate to find love, but inevitably, we are fortunate either way.

And would hearing that make you smile?
..I am.