Remain as I am, bid farewell, and not give a damn.

For once, there is something to be happy about. Something to smile about, that makes life worth living.

How could I have been such a simple child, that only cared for something that I considered true love? When all along, it was nothing. Simply, eloquently put, false.

It makes me wonder what I really was searching for with my life before I've grown. Before I have grown up, and realized that there is so much more than life. Like wine, like blood. As in the simple moments in life that just matter, and only matter to me.

Serious soul searching. For every man that I've hurt, I did not do it knowingly. For every argument, fight, contact, or conversation that I've ever had. So I am holding up my glass for every good and bad life memory in which I have. It's not the end, it never will be.

A new beginning for every rotten piece of decay. It's a natural process, which we seem to forget. I learn through every action, and I'm making myself better every day. Slowly finding that my priorities need to be changed, and slowly have been since January. Maybe that should have been my New Year's Resolution. Indeed, it should have, but instead, mine was to put myself first, and to forget about everyone else's needs until I am satisfied. As egotistical as one may perceive such a habit, it's necessary.

I know the things I am teaching myself are not profound; Rather, they are the basic necessities needed in order to survive in such a world as we are seeing today. For once, I can smile and truly mean it.

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I hate myself for lovin' you and the weakness that it showed.
You were just a painted face on a trip down Suicide Road.
The stage was set, the lights went out all around the old hotel,
I hate myself for lovin' you and I'm glad the curtain fell.

I hate that foolish game we played and the need that was expressed,
And the mercy that you showed to me, who ever would have guessed?
I went out on Lower Broadway and I felt that place within,
That hollow place where martyrs weep and angels play with sin.

Heard your songs of freedom and man forever stripped,
Acting out his folly while his back is being whipped.
Like a slave in orbit, he's beaten 'til he's tame,
All for a moment's glory and it's a dirty, rotten shame.

There are those who worship loneliness, I'm not one of them.
In this age of fiberglass I'm searching for a gem.
The crystal ball up on the wall hasn't shown me nothing yet,
I've paid the price of solitude, but at last I'm out of debt.

Can't recall a useful thing you ever did for me
'Cept pat me on the back one time when I was on my knees.
We stared into each other's eyes 'til one of us would break,
No use to apologize, what diff'rence would it make?

So sing your praise of progress and of the Doom Machine,
The naked truth is still taboo whenever it can be seen.
Lady Luck, who shines on me, will tell you where I'm at,
I hate myself for lovin' you, but I should get over that.